Who are we to judge?!

I would like to have a bit of chat about people who judge – does that mean I am judging them? Maybe, maybe – anyway here goes…

The way we live, the way we eat is often in question– we are what we eat, we hear that all the time.

Actually we are made of what we eat and do and think and say and experience.
That’s obvious isn’t it?

A LOT of people seem to think that their way is the best way and so they preach. I know, I know –  if someone asks me about health I tend to go on and on (sorry friends) and give advice freely when asked by anyone (I also charge, its my job). BUT I’m talking about those who insist “100% this” is the only right way or “100% that”, or “80/20% is the perfect way”.

We are all different. Not just in what we need but in what we want, what works with our life even our age and state of health.

Of course we can all change,  we could be flexible, change as needed, listen to our bodies and minds. I also believe that for me (the only example to use) 100% anything is not right.
Being a classic miss-matcher if I put a rule on myself (or if anyone else tries to) I usually break it. If I decide on Tuesday we will eat such and such on Friday – there is NO WAY we will be eating that on Friday. Its a bit of a standing joke in our house.

I must just say at this point that I believe eating fried foods, food with all the nutrients boiled out of them, dairy, sugar, white stuff,  lots of meat and alcohol as well as not exercising and leading a stressful and/or anger fuelled life  (and any combination of that little lot you choose) is going to end in tears – and health problems.

There are other ways to live and eat and some people don’t know them (some choose not to want to and they have that right – though when it effects others they could have the right to mention it!!) hence, when asked, I go on….and on.

Anyway. To state my point of view; I believe that a very high raw plant based diet, higher in veggies than fruit, is the best way for me and most people – if this choice is taken with knowledge and attention to advice. I believe that the more food and drink you take in that nourishes your body the better.
For me eating a plate of stodge, say pasta, is a wasted opportunity to a) enjoy something more delicious ( lets face it, its what you put on it that tastes good) and b) to notch up another “portion” of fantastic nutrients – so in place of the pasta I would probably use spiralised raw courgette for example. The sauce would be a divine blend of veggies, garlic, oils and herbs. If I wanted creamy (love creamy!) it would have nuts and maybe nutritional yeast and lecithin in there – so all the yumminess without guilt – ah, guilt thats another thing (another time).

I believe we need to use supplements, I do and I send them to my kids and check that they take them. I use spirulina, wheatgrass ( fresh when possible, frozen when not and powdered when neither are available), spray Vit. B12 and Vit D.
I take MSM, Maca and a mixed green powder with algea, acai, and allsorts of other great stuff in it sometimes (I swap and change and remember and forget with these).
At the moment I am taking Co-enzime Q 10, 5HTP and magnesium ( spray oil and tablets with B6) and a high dose of Vit C; because I am recovering from extensive stress and burnout.
I use frozen pollen when Im in France and so can get it.

I drink herbs as tea (plus lots of different red and green teas), drink lots of water and do not buy ready meals or anything really that I think is bad.  I drink green juices and green smoothies by the pint. Lemons, limes and apple cider vinegar are always to hand.

I eat out sometimes and don’t stress about it, I eat at friends houses and love the food they have prepared with kindness for their guests. I drink wine. I drink a tiny coffee most mornings ( OK I smell it a lot and sip it a little then throw it away having had what I want from it). I practice yoga sometimes, I meditate, I dance around the kitchen a lot, I feel huge love and happiness and, sometimes, have to wrestle myself from the clutches of sadness.
I do the best I can for me and my family and my friends and my clients.

Often and for long periods I only eat a raw plant based diet which includes nuts and seeds, sea veggies and draws upon a lot of experience and knowledge (and relies on my super fast blender, food processor and dehydrater). I am happy with that – I just don’t make it a rule!!

Of course I could and should “do better” in someone’s eyes, on the other hand I’m probably a mad, hippy, health fanatic in someone else’s eyes too!

ONE OF OUR RAW FEASTS

Smile!

Have you ever said, when I get this, (or that, or the other) I’ll be happy?

The other day, someone said to me “I am aiming for XXX by the end of the year so I have to keep going till I get it then everything will be better”.

Fair enough, its good to have an aim, know what you are going for, a target. Somewhere I read something about concentrating on where you are going, don’t stress on the how to get there every step of the way. Good advice.

I don’t really like buts, but there is a big but here… BUT what about now?

Whilst you are concentrating on where you are going, and lots of people (myself included previously) do this, you say I just need to keep going now, head down, work work work, then when I achieve XXX ( promotion/level of income/ fit into smaller jeans/ own a red Ferrari) I’ll be happy.

I hear that from my kids, sometimes sounding so tired, but they live in a competitive world, both in fast cities ( London and Paris) and feel they have to keep going and going or they will lose momentum….

Who’s that song by ‘Ill sleep when I’m dead”? Good song but not a motto to live by.

Without relaxation you will not have any energy, we need sleep and stillness to facilitate activity – mental and physical.

Without food you will not have any energy; your metabolism will drop, your cells will diminish, your health will suffer.

Without enjoyment your motivation will sink.

More on each of those coming up.

Give yourself a break!!!

For today, lets enjoy today. Even if you are working towards your aim, have today as a happy day, find something good in it, funny, profound. Smile at all the people you see, it’s infectious, really! Someone might think you are nuts and ignore you but I bet someone else gives you a twinkly smile back, and it feels good!

Happy Sunday x

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/stitch/1333373279/”>Stitch</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>

Motivation and wafting away grey mood clouds.

I just thought I would repost this after having a really low energy feeling yesterday afternoon.

I was kind of sinking into it (it can be so easy just to go with it, let it take your hand and follow it … down…) and forced myself to get on my mini trampoline and do some bouncing, 10 minutes later the mood was definitely more positive and after another ten, hey presto, energy restored, mood lifted.

It’s not always so simple, but it does really help to DO something when that shadow starts closing in.

I wrote the following post was about a year ago on “Desrissplash”…

Back in rainy Britain, what is going on? We left  the 30+° heat of France and arrived in the UK at 6.30am to 20° which was very hopeful but today it is pouring and grey. Kinda cosy though, sometimes don’t you just need cosy?

I have a meeting today that I am not looking forward to. I was thinking about what to wear and thought “OK, what would I wear that would make me feel better?”… no the answer wasn’t a power suit or even a mask, it was PJs and thick socks!

I had to have a tooth out at the dentist a while ago, I was terrified, I have never been good at dentists. I took along my thick super soft socks. He looked at me as though I was nuts when I started to take my shoes off, I explained the comfort theory and he got it – really we need to do whatever gets us through (within reason obviously;-).

I think we spend far too little time really thinking ‘what would make this work’ instead of ‘this isn’t working’. Because I am nervous we started the day today with a really brisk walk, in the pouring rain, up over the hills. 45 minutes later we were back, soaked but feeling much better about everything and had the exciting surprise that my new samples had turned up and are gorgeous!

Endorphines, laughing at being soaked, concentrating on balancing on stones rather than sinking in the mud, its all going to make you feel better. A fantastic help for people suffering anxiety, depression, grief, fear, almost any mind problem can be given some help/respite by getting outside and moving and being slightly challenged – even if it is by cow pats and mud!

Oh (back to real time) the other thing I just remembered I did was power jet spray some old floor boards, with the idea of using them around the house for window sills, maybe a table (that I couldn’t put anything on as they are very wonky), etc. I did this in the pouring rain and got thoroughly soaked, it felt great, free, silly – probably helped that the weather was quite warm despite raining ALL day, heavily.

So, a bit like the post above, maybe a good play in the rain washes the dark feelings away, just like going for a breezy walk blows the cobwebs away.

Vulnerable? Me?

I find myself in an amazing world, living an amazing life, with amazing possibilities.

I have an amazing home, amazing kids and an amazing husband.

All perfect then? Hmmm, not really…

I am in a situation that isn’t great. The odd person who makes life difficult. Makes me feel bad. Often actually.

I’m not sleeping very well, 4 hours last night and about the same the night before.

All because of this situation and the odd person.

I really love metaphors, I use them all the time, in fact, sometimes I use more than one (I’m trying to learn to keep them to a minimum!).

I heard a great one the other day from my friend Emily. She was talking about her Mums latest diet and how if she gives into temptation once she gives up and thinks “That’s it, I might as well just be bad all day, I’ve messed up, why continue blah, blah, blah” – you know the sort of thing. Emilys metaphor for her Mum was; Imagine you have a collection of beautiful assorted porcelain tea cups and you drop one and it smashes, would you then just smash all the rest!”?

Another one I heard in some training or other was;  If you watched a really, really bad film would you sit all the way through it, and then watch it again, and again hundreds of times?

Obviously the answer to both is “NO, of COURSE not!”

But we do just that, well, I know I do! We replay things over and over in our minds. Every time we replay them we re-feel the hurt, anger, sadness, pain, injustice. So really aren’t we hurting, angering, saddening ourselves?

We spend time (waste time) hating the person who “did that to us’ but they only did it once (or lots of things once maybe) and we perpetuate it. They may not be a nice person but it is US who keep beating ourselves with their stick.  And so we get stuck. Tired. Depleted. Disempowered. Disenchanted. This can leave us unable to deal with even small set backs (you know like spilt milk, or someone nipping into the car parking space we were waiting for) and unable to enjoy all the amazing stuff because we are so over come with the ongoing replays of bad things that have happened. Often things that happened days, weeks, months or even years ago! And if they are still happening we are multiplying them so we are juggling lots of bad things not just dealing with the one in hand.

Imagine playing a song you love but at the same time you have three or four other tunes that you really don’t like at all playing – would you really enjoy the tune you love? Would the others playing at the same time take the joy out of it? Would they spoil it?

I think they would rather (probably make you go a bit mad too – so lets add that into the mix). Funny what we do to ourselves isn’t it.

Time to stop. You can. I can. Just put the stick down, turn the other tunes off, throw out the bad film, put the china in a cupboard.

JUST STOP.

Vulnerable…..me? Yes, vulnerable to me.

So who’s the odd person?

Its up to you!

I have learnt (many, many times haha) that thoughts become feelings.

And its very useful be able to to turn the thoughts off especially when they become destructive and in turn feel bad. Easier said than done? Maybe not.

I have learnt and used many methods. For a quick fix the most effective so far, for me, has been the #Sedona method – just letting go – it is SO simple if you LET yourself do it.

(NB: This is an amazingly effective method for much deeper and bigger problems with more exploration and practice). 

I really believe that a lot of our problems can be self made or at least self-perpetuated.

I was speaking to my son yesterday, who has a big audition coming up and end of year exams etc. He was saying he is so stressed about this and that and he was so tired. I have felt that so many times (quite possibly where he learnt to be stressed :() but it doesn’t help! I try to say it doesn’t help but that doesn’t work; it only works when we realise it for ourselves.

If you are stressing about something, it doesn’t make you sharper, more alert to the problem, more able to deal with it. Its the opposite. You tense up, lose some rationality, become tired and lose energy and focus, resulting in being overcome by the feeling of stress rather than the event that’s causing it!

If you fall and relax into a roll you are less likely to hurt yourself than if you fall and tense up like a stick. If its tense it will break, if floppy it with bend and be moved – does that make sense? Same in our heads.

Recognise a problem, breath through it, stay ‘in the moment’ right now this minute is just that – don’t start catastrophising about what might happen or did happen, stay here and now and focus. In most cases we have options and with a calm mind we can look at them. We may not have many – or maybe we don’t have many that we like.

Sometimes we have to let go of our preconceived ideas and wants, change the plan. Tweak it or turn it on its head but we have to be prepared to do something other than go under.

Sometimes its helpful to speak to someone else about it, or write it down, do the for list and the against list. If you are sinking fast write a list of everything wonderful about your life, recognise the good bits, any good bits however small! It will change how you feel.

If its a case of choosing what to do, where to go, which option to take ( and I’m not just talking about where to go to dinner – though it would work for that too!) write your list – as short as you can, maybe up to 6 options – and pit them against each other one by one.

If you are a miss matcher like me when you get to the last one (and so supposedly the winner) you will choose another but it will have focused you and helped the decision be made.

Depends on the problem, its not always about choice.

Sometimes I have found we think we are stressed but if we look deeper we are actually excited, nervous, anticipating or something else and if we used those words to ourselves we would take the sting out of the tail of “stressed” and so our reaction may change.

So in a nut shell;

if you have a let a thought become a feeling, as in the Sedona method 1) FEEL the feeling, let it get as big as it can then 2) ask yourself – “Could I let it go?” (answer yes to this one, even if you think you can’t) then 3) ask  “Would I let it go?” – can you see the difference? You have to allow yourself because it is you who is in control. 4) Take a deep breath and answer YES breathing the feeling out. Honestly if you practice it works. I didn’t even need to practice at the beginning though various things have happened over the years when its needed real concentration and was worth persevering. Look up the Sedona method, there is a lot more too it, but this is a brief synopsis that has worked for me in moments when I have needed to address a feeling quickly and unobtrusively.

There are many methods out there for helping deal with stress, stopping the chitter chatter in your head, the self inflicted drama of what could be etc. Another post another day, I hope this one helped.