Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who was the spottiest girl of all?

We had dinner with old friends at the weekend, nothing quite like that relationship where you are accepted just the way you are however long it’s been.

I was going to say ‘spots and all’ which reminded me of a snippet of conversation when I mentioned having been the spottiest girl in class.
I was actually, I am sure, the spottiest girl in the school; In fact, quite possibly the spottiest girl St Aiden’s school ever had!
It was totally mortifying. I distinctly remember, with shame, being dragged across the concrete garden between the art and science blocks towards Andrew Southgate, who was also being dragged kicking and screaming. Everyone chanting kiss, kiss, kiss. I had fancied him for ages. He said he wouldn’t go out with me because I was too spotty.
Well the greasy skin then means I may not have as many wrinkles as I would have had otherwise but I wish I knew then what I know today – that what we eat and drink and the way we live can change our skin (and our whole body) dramatically. Never so needed as during the various hormone changes of our lives.
We didn’t eat particularly badly then, we didn’t have processed food other than the odd tin of beans or spaghetti hoops on toast. Ate lots of fruit and vegetables (I worked on the fruit stall at the market at the weekends and in holidays), and as a family we had ‘pop’ and cakes rarely. BUT I was stressed, even as a child, life was a string of places to be with no time to get there amongst other things. I am sure that had a huge effect.
I was asked for some ideas to help someone with eczema at the weekend too. I would give the same advice for most skin complaints –
Up your clean water intake.
Add a tablespoonful of apple cider vinegar once or twice a day.
Reduce the whites – sugar, bread, flour, pasta, rice, cakes, pastries etc you know which they are!
Reduce dairy – cows milk cheese (try goats or sheeps, there are some that will sub for lots of cows cheeses), cream, milk – except milk kefir which, I believe, is worth using.
Reduce bread, when you do eat it choose wholemeal, granary or sourdough. I work much better with sourdough than ‘normal’ bread.
STOP eating all processed foods. Even fruit yogurts – they may sound good but are loaded with sugar.
STOP drinking fizzy drinks, unless its Kombucha, preferably homemade.
Sugar feeds disease. And you may think bread has very little sugar in it but IT TURNS INTO SUGAR AS SOON AS YOU SWALLOW IT!
Add in fermented foods and drinks such as:
Sourkraut (raw from the health food shop or homemade – easy peasy and cheap, Ill post instructions asap).
Kefir (as above – so easy to make and quick) nut milk kefir is totally dairy free but cows milk is so pre-digested I think its the dairy exception. And its fun watching those little grains go forth and multiply!
Kombucha (again easy and cheap to make at home, flavour it with bits of chopped ginger and its like ginger beer).
Fermented veggies – can be made using a starter from health food shops or, much cheaper and more fun, use some whey from your milk Kefir (strain the Kefir and you have the basis of Kefir cheese and some clear whey which is the bit you use for the vegetables).

Veggies fermenting

So, any or all of this will help. The more you do the better results. It beats antibiotic creams that sting and drinking cabbage water and the results will speak for themselves – not only in the look and feel of your skin but also in your mood, mind clarity, digestion, energy levels, eye brightness and more!

Want to change fast?
Learn to change and start the change with us at our Recombobulate retreat in rural France then go home feeling great and with the tools to LIVE the change.
 www.recombobulate.me
Come on, lets get you sorted!

Was brain off sick when you thought up the concept of ‘menopause symptoms’

Dear Mother Nature (and this should be of interest to energy conservationalists and scientists),

Was brain off sick when you thought up the concept of ‘menopause symptoms’?

In particular the starring roll of hot flushes?

Is there one single useful reason for them?

Night after night of covers on,  covers off, covers on, covers off, knackered us, knackered partners, addled brains, baggy eyes and saggy tummies.
 
I suppose they are very good for sales of Chillows, high tec. airflow mattresses, fans, air con units, spray cans of water – not to mention black cohosh, sage and evening primrose oil. I guess they are a lucrative source of income for divorce lawyers too.

And surely by now, with all those scientists working on energy sourcing and conservation, all those politicians and business people looking into the rising cost of heating, SOMEBODY could come up with a way to at least make us feel its all worthwhile and channel the mega watts produced by millions of efficient female night time heat generators into something useful to keep us warm during the day?
We could be worth a fortune;  there is no down time during working hours – if it happens we multi task. We don’t need a designated place or equipment to produce it. No, its any place, any time, just ask your nearest lady of a certain age – yes, that pink one should be able to tell you.

Oh, and we ALL know that getting hot and sweaty results in weight loss,  glowing skin, shiny hair, better moods, sharper brain, better concentration and improved mood, stamina and sex life – what did you not understand????

Ach, enough all ready, I’m too tired, can’t concentrate and feeling way too grumpy, another time…

Always look on the bright side of (mid) life dada, dada dada dada 🙂

Its up to you!

I have learnt (many, many times haha) that thoughts become feelings.

And its very useful be able to to turn the thoughts off especially when they become destructive and in turn feel bad. Easier said than done? Maybe not.

I have learnt and used many methods. For a quick fix the most effective so far, for me, has been the #Sedona method – just letting go – it is SO simple if you LET yourself do it.

(NB: This is an amazingly effective method for much deeper and bigger problems with more exploration and practice). 

I really believe that a lot of our problems can be self made or at least self-perpetuated.

I was speaking to my son yesterday, who has a big audition coming up and end of year exams etc. He was saying he is so stressed about this and that and he was so tired. I have felt that so many times (quite possibly where he learnt to be stressed :() but it doesn’t help! I try to say it doesn’t help but that doesn’t work; it only works when we realise it for ourselves.

If you are stressing about something, it doesn’t make you sharper, more alert to the problem, more able to deal with it. Its the opposite. You tense up, lose some rationality, become tired and lose energy and focus, resulting in being overcome by the feeling of stress rather than the event that’s causing it!

If you fall and relax into a roll you are less likely to hurt yourself than if you fall and tense up like a stick. If its tense it will break, if floppy it with bend and be moved – does that make sense? Same in our heads.

Recognise a problem, breath through it, stay ‘in the moment’ right now this minute is just that – don’t start catastrophising about what might happen or did happen, stay here and now and focus. In most cases we have options and with a calm mind we can look at them. We may not have many – or maybe we don’t have many that we like.

Sometimes we have to let go of our preconceived ideas and wants, change the plan. Tweak it or turn it on its head but we have to be prepared to do something other than go under.

Sometimes its helpful to speak to someone else about it, or write it down, do the for list and the against list. If you are sinking fast write a list of everything wonderful about your life, recognise the good bits, any good bits however small! It will change how you feel.

If its a case of choosing what to do, where to go, which option to take ( and I’m not just talking about where to go to dinner – though it would work for that too!) write your list – as short as you can, maybe up to 6 options – and pit them against each other one by one.

If you are a miss matcher like me when you get to the last one (and so supposedly the winner) you will choose another but it will have focused you and helped the decision be made.

Depends on the problem, its not always about choice.

Sometimes I have found we think we are stressed but if we look deeper we are actually excited, nervous, anticipating or something else and if we used those words to ourselves we would take the sting out of the tail of “stressed” and so our reaction may change.

So in a nut shell;

if you have a let a thought become a feeling, as in the Sedona method 1) FEEL the feeling, let it get as big as it can then 2) ask yourself – “Could I let it go?” (answer yes to this one, even if you think you can’t) then 3) ask  “Would I let it go?” – can you see the difference? You have to allow yourself because it is you who is in control. 4) Take a deep breath and answer YES breathing the feeling out. Honestly if you practice it works. I didn’t even need to practice at the beginning though various things have happened over the years when its needed real concentration and was worth persevering. Look up the Sedona method, there is a lot more too it, but this is a brief synopsis that has worked for me in moments when I have needed to address a feeling quickly and unobtrusively.

There are many methods out there for helping deal with stress, stopping the chitter chatter in your head, the self inflicted drama of what could be etc. Another post another day, I hope this one helped.

Dieting? Not me!

After my obsession post I had various views from people who were involved in potentially extreme things… religion, diet, anorexia.

Maybe we shouldn’t bandy words about without meaning them. I am passionate rather than obsessed, though having said that I have been obsessed and I have used food as a way to give myself control and also to give myself something to focus on when going through more difficult times.

Sometimes we do feel out of control because of situations we find ourselves in, maybe through relationships, work, home, finances, illness.

Something to focus on can be a good thing.

I used to say to my kids, if they woke with a bad dream or had a bad day and were trying to go off to sleep, ” think about something happy, its your birthday in a few days/weeks/months, what would be the best birthday cake in the whole world, think about how it will look and tell me on the morning” or Xmas cake maybe….. you get the idea. It took their mind off the problem they could not do anything about right then.

So, could that have potentially started a comfort eating problem? Maybe. Could it have contributed to minds that won’t be quiet when we want them to? Maybe. Could I now add it to the list of things I did “wrong”? Maybe.

To me, at the time, it was the right thing to do. So to me now, I did my best, with what I had at the time so I am OK with that.

I am sitting here at 3.25am. I couldn’t sleep, again. Too many thoughts, too many ideas. I’m not awake because I am worried but because I am excited. I don’t need to think about what my next birthday cake will look like ( probably a raw chocolate one with fresh fruit on top:) but I can’t help but think about new ideas for food, new ways to make raw work on a day to day basis sidestepping cravings and habits of a life time. Where to have our UK retreat, whats next to do for the french one. Its fun, its exciting, its creative.

Its a long way from obsessed.

So, confessional; when I was about 19 I was at art college. I would get up in the morning and have a slice of toast with a diet spread and jam. I would cut it into several pieces and slowly eat it whilst getting ready. I would drink OXO cubes in hot water through the day (maybe one or two, sometimes only half at a time) and then I would have part of a crunchie bar as a reward for being good. Half I think.

In the evening I would cook something like lambs liver with onions and green beans and carrots – in some water, no fat. I was proud of how healthy and nutricious it was, simple, cheap and tasty.

Hmmmmm.

Maybe a year or two after that I read about some super diet involving seeds and yogurt. I remember struggling through live yogurt mixed with sesame and sunflower seeds. Now I know there are great benefits there but that was all I ate. It didn’t last long. Luckily.

The other day I was in a health food shop and there was a young lady asking about diet products. The lady working there was very careful what she said, they were a similar age and the shop assistant was distinctly uncomfortable because the customer was not over weight by any means. I thought ” what on earth is she worrying about, she doesn’t need to diet” then quickly realised I had been just like that! Who knows what the diet was replacing, feeding, nourishing – not her body but her mind in some way.

I was very slim, a dancer, gym bunny, health fanatic, constantly on the move – I recently went back to Harrogate for the first time for years. Someone said to me ( in a very loving, happy to see me way) you used to be such a slip of a thing…. I did have a momentary panic, I had put on weight and was more than I “should” have been and way more than I had been, but I have been learning to accept myself as I am and the work I have done on that over the years stood me in good stead BUT there was a time when that would have meant water only for days on end. They didn’t mean I am now fat, more likely if they had any intention other than “oh, I remember you well”, it would have been that I had been too slim! But what someone says and what we hear can be very different.

We need to learn to hear what someone says – and yes, somethimes people can be plain mean in which case we need to hear that they are being mean and not us being whatever they said – and not turn it into a stick with which to beat ourselves.

So now (and for many years) I believe in being a healthy weight, I believe in exercise to keep us strong, flexible, move our lymph, sweat out the toxins and to keep us mobile. I believe that the majority of what we eat should be feeding us, not just filling us. Nutrients in every mouthful. I believe in moderation and enjoyment and peace of mind and I believe I need to go back to bed and sleep!

A little bit obsessed!

As long as I can remember I have been at least a little obsessed with food!

I do remember being hungry as a child and I was not deprived, just burning it off fast and hungry before each meal – how often are we really hungry before we eat? Not often, try it and see.

I had to go straight to dancing school after school. When I was younger I was delivered and I remember being given Rivetas that my mother was piling cream cheese and pineapple on, I think there could have been butter too – Riveta wasn’t really advertised as it is now as a be all to all people base for fine concoctions, way back then it was just about diets.

The topping sends a mixed message – but as the skinniest kid in class thank goodness for a Mother who was ‘on a diet but just couldn’t resist’. I still love the sucre/sale flavours!

As I grew older I had to get to dancing myself so the minute the bell rang I ran as fast as I could – a few miles across flat planes, across town, up hills, to get there in 15 minutes, about 3 or 4 miles I’d guess.

Usually I had taken nothing to eat. A couple of hours of dancing at least, then a trek back to town and the bus home, just waiting for fooooood!

Home was a funny place, not always happy, a lot of tension and conflict going on. I often spent sleepless nights working out how I could support my siblings and myself on the pocket money I saved every week (religiously I squirreled it away, just in case).

I always started with a base of a massive white sliced loaf because it was cheap and would fill our tummies; there were bags of apples and bananas too. ….

I still wake in the night and work out food for the next day, make up recipes, analyse the day before, NO sliced white loaf now but the bananas and apples figure, somewhere behind the green leaves and celery.

The other day Robin was watching me and asked what I was doing – “counting my portions”  (I was counting on my fingers) I do it every day, smug when I hit ten or over, less so when 7-10 and fed up with myself (I’m working on that flagellation thing) if I don’t make 5.

That is a rare occasion these days but when staying away or travelling it can be REALLY hard to get those portions in! In the UK it is not so bad with the brilliant motorway service stations where they have M&S and Waitrose salads, washed fruits and peeled, chopped fruits but when we are going through France it is really tough.

You have to go off road and find a market or super market then find somewhere to wash the stuff – or eat bananas which is fine for the first one or two.

OR be organised and take stuff with you – even after all these years and hardly ever managing to sort myself out to take something for between school and dancing I still rarely get it together.

So that is something I will be working on “being prepared” and delicious recipes to travel with – that means they last in a very warm car or on a very cold ferry, are delicious, nutritious and easy to eat without setting up a picnic table/ getting it all over you,  and without having a bag of slimy washing up to do in a hotel room – or worse, forgotten about and to be discovered weeks later, under the seat, when trying to find out “what that smell is”!